Monday, February 19, 2007

What is your name?

from Jake - Houston, Texas

Jake, Yao hopes you are either 4 year old, or a retard man like Corky from Life Goes On. One or other.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Yao, which movie do you like the best?

from Toby Zheng - Elmhurst, NY

Yao thinking long and hard on this question. So many good movies Yao can choose. After much thought, Yao say best movie must be Eurotrip.

Don't tell Scotty! Scotty doesn't know! So funny. Because Scotty *does* know. He really does.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Do you think you the the best center in NBA?

from Justin - Troy, OH

Justin, Yao definitely best center in NBA. At sudoku. Yao can do number puzzles like no other big man since Robert Parish.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Why do asians have such small weiners?

from Cesar - Houston, Texas

Cesar, this just myth. Yao penis, for instance not small. However, Yao do know that most people name Cesar are very homosexual. Not that Yao think anything wrong with that.

Yao, since u listen to jay-z, do you have your own rap lines?

from Michael - Xu, China

Yes Michael. Yao dropping lines all the time in locker room. Yao wrote this rap about Shane Battier:

Shane, Shane your name Yao said
Your head shaped like an alien head
You play good D, and you shoot 3
Before each game, Shane like to pee

You better player than other weird head bums
Like Sam Cassell or Sheldon Williams
So here's a rhyme for one bad dude
Too bad Shane go to fucking Duke

Shanghai represent... peace.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Does your girlfriend, Ye Li, live with you? Do you get your groove on with her?

from RoxRedGlare - H-Town, TX

Yao no live with girlfriend. Yao think this goes against Yao conservative upbringing. Living together before marriage not right. Yao firmly believe this. Yao also firmly believe in booty calls. Tap ass then kick bitch out, that how Yao was raised.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

I was wondering what does it feel like to dunk on shaq? And who is your favorite basketball player?

from Akaashi - Toronto, Canada

Dunk on Shaq feel like hitting transvestite hooker in mouth. Very good feeling. And Yao favorite player is T-Mac. Because if Yao not say this, T-Mac get mad. And if T-Mac mad, T-Mac no let Yao play Cranium with T-Mac friends. Then Yao cry. Because Yao good at Cranium.